The Runaway (Princess) Bride, Part Deux

According to the British Newspaper, The Mirror, Charlene Wittstock tried to bolt, not once but THRICE before her nuptials to Fat Albert III. The first time was in early May when she travelled to Paris for a fitting of her wedding gown. The paper says she ‘took refuge’ in the South African Embassy for an undisclosed period of time. The second took place later that month when she tried to flee during the Monaco Grand Prix. The third and final attempt was made last week, just days before the three day nuptials were set to begin. The reason for all these escape attempts? News that her dear fiancé was facing not one, but TWO more claims of illegitimate children: one already born, one still in utero. According to The Mirror, Prince Fat Albert and his bride came to an ‘agreement’ so the wedding could go on as planned.

Although, for such a happy occasion, the bride looked rather tense. She spent most of the time looking down at the ground, even as she walked down the aisle with her father. At one point she even burst into tears as Fat Albert looked on, passively. But the real temperature gauge of this marriage are those kisses. Just check out the two photos included in this post.


In this one, taken just after the civil ceremony on July 1st, Fat Albert is kissing his new wife who looks as if she just threw up in her mouth a little bit. (Although, I can’t blame her since I would also throw up in my mouth if I was forced to kiss him).



In this one, taken at the conclusion of the religious ceremony, he appears to kiss her, but clearly she isn’t kissing him back.




Although, to be honest, I’m having a hard time feeling sorry for Princess Charlène. Fat Albert’s reputation as a Man Whore has been VERY well known for years by the entire world, so if she was surprised to learn he was screwing around while they were together, well, then she is thick as a brick. So, Charlene, honey, here is some free advice: lay still, produce a legitimate heir, then live the rest of your life in luxury. That's the job you signed up to do, so STOP trying to run away!